’ ‘Unfortunately, that’s not true, dear. Even with your dad I don’t always enjoy it.’ ‘Mom, that’s sad. I would want you to feel like I did every time.’ ‘I hope it can be that way for you every time. But you need to realize that sometimes it won’t. Anyway I am very happy that your first time was such a beautiful experience for you. And, I hope you and Howard and any other boy you have relations with continue to have beautiful experiences.’ When she left, I thought that she must have had several bad sexual experiences and that she was worried about me. A couple of days later my dad came into my room before bedtime and closed the door behind him. ‘Your mother tells me that you have been having sex,’ he said with obvious disapproval. ‘Well, once, twice in one night actually,’ I said, not sure what was coming. ‘You disappoint me, young lady, as does this Howard boy. I thought he was fine and upstanding but now I find he is just like all boys, exploiting girls for their own pleasure.’. .. You're soooo sleepy. So heavy. So tired." Her mouth hung slack, her eyes flat and drowsy and drooping. I rose to sit next to her on the bed. I began caressing her gently, stroking her belly, her sides, her breasts. "So helpless. Poor Dee. She's so sleepy; so heavy; so very, very helpless." I reached down and positioned her legs far apart. I pressed her arms by her sides. She remained exactly as I placed her. Her eyes were blank behind drooping lids, but I knew very well that she could hear every word, feel every touch. I began stroking her hairless pussy. Her breathing quickened, but otherwise, she didn't make a sound.This was the point that I usually mounted her. The ultimate rape. She would be like a rag doll in my arms, completely limp, completely helpless. It was exactly like using a date rape drug, only my willing participant would be acutely aware of her situation, and would remember every touch, feeling, and emotion. But in this case, I'd have to settle for sex without.
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